Spider Man's Haunted Vacation
by newbienovelistRD
Summary: Loki sends Spider Man to a frightful world of monsters! But these monsters aren't quite what he expected.


**A fan named jarodtheunreal gave me this crossover idea! Thank you for the idea!**

* * *

Late in the dark streets of New York City, Spider Man was chasing a cloaked figure who has just stolen the Siege Perilous from SHIELD.

"Okay, this is definitely no common cat burglar!" Spider Man said.

He had a point. This crook busted into one of the most secure government facilities, stole a powerful artifact that can open portals to other dimensions, and he was escaping Spider Man at superhuman speeds.

The thief went into Central Park and seemed to vanish in the darkness.

Spider Man landed safely and looked around. "Alright, thieves don't just disappear like that..."

"BOO!"

"AAAH!" Spider Man jumped and spun around.

A cloud of green smoke later, the thief turned out be Loki! He smiled as he held the Siege Perilous. "Did I scare you, Spider Man?"

"Hardly." Spider Man retorted. "I'll be taking that Siege Perilous now!" He shot his webs, but Loki disappeared in smoke again.

"Why must you be a spoiled sport, mortal?" Loki's disembodied voice said all around Spider Man. "Everyone needs a good scare."

"Oh, please. Apart from Nova's smelly sweat socks, I'm not afraid of anything, Loki!"

Spider Man heard the villain's wicked laughter. "Then may I suggest a vacation?"

A portal opened and Spider Man felt himself shoved right into it.

* * *

"WHOOOOOOA!" Spider Man hollered as he fell through the wormhole. "Oh, man! Loki used the oldest trick in the book and I fell for it! Now I'm spinning out of control somewhere to a parallel universe!"

Spider Man could feel the ride ending soon. "Let's just hope I don't hit a dead end!"

The end of the wormhole came and Spider Man landed in what appeared to be a spooky looking forest.

And a tall, ominous castle not too far away.

Spider Man felt a chill up his spine. "Spoke too soon..."

Despite the castle's spookiness, Spider Man decided to find help in there. It's not like he had a choice. He needed a way back home by hook or crook.

Spider Man came to the castle and walked past the revolving door. "Huh, kind of weird for a castle to have a revolving...door..."

The hero froze like someone paused a video game. The castle was even creepier inside than out. "Y'know, there's something familiar about this place...and I don't like it."

The castle reminded Spider Man of Dracula's castle. He and the Howling Commandos went there on Halloween night to save Spider Man's friends.

That horrific night, when the skeptical Spider Man discovered that monsters were real, would always haunt him.

"Come on. Keep it together." the hero himself. "You're not a scaredy spider anymore..."

Suddenly, Spider Man felt a sharp kick to the rear.

"OOOW! HEY!" Spider Man jumped around, but there wasn't anyone's behind him, just a suit of armor.

"What the-?"

 **BONK!**

Something hit Spidey on the head. He looked and saw another suit of armor.

Spider Man went up to the armor, raised the helmet's visor and saw nothing inside.

 **BANG!**

Spidey was punched in the face by the armor.

"Ooowww!" Spider Man saw the armor readjust his visor and assume his position. "Uh, I think I should go now..."

He turned to run but tripped on something invisible.

"Watch that first step."

Tired of getting caught off guard again and again, Spider Man spun around and shot a blast of webbing.

"Missed me!" the voice taunted.

Spider Man then laughed when something tickled him. "HEY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Quit it!" He squirmed and laughed, unable to see what was tickling him.

"STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Spider Man laughed, writhing around. "S-Show yourself right now!"

The tickling stopped.

"If you insist."

To Spider Man's shock, a pair of glasses floated up and the lenses were looking right at him.

Spider Man jumped back. "WHOA! AAAAAH!"

"What? I'm showing myself." said the glasses.

The hero couldn't believe it. Talking glasses?! "Are you a ghost?!"

"No, just invisible."

"What?!"

A door opened. "What is going on out here?!" a voice screeched.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Spider Man screamed. He saw what looked like a clawed beast with a face made of slime and hideous eyes.

It was really a blue skinned woman wearing a mud mask. She removed the cucumbers from her eyes. "Do you mind?! Us monsters need our beauty sleep!"

A tall, large, blue skinned man came out, rubbing his tired eyes. "What's all the noise, Honey?"

"We've got an intruder in the hotel. Again." said the floating glasses. "Hey, guys. Think you can take him away?"

The suits of armor that were harassing Spider Man came to life and grabbed their weapons and shields.

"Oh, snap!" Spider Man truly regretted coming to this castle. He ran off down a different hallway.

He was about to enter a room to hide in, but the door opened and a rather large mummy came out.

"What's going on out here?"

 **BAM!**

Spider Man clashed right into the mummy and bounced right off his big stomach right into a wall.

A door swung open. It was a werewolf. "HEY! Keep it down!" But he froze when he saw a costumed man stuck in the wall.

A litter of werewolf pups came out and looked excitedly at Spider Man.

Before they could swarm him, Spider Man ran into a room and closed it behind him. He waited for what terrors were coming next.

But he saw the most perplexing sight. He was in what looked like a little boy's bedroom. There was a giant teddy bear, drawings posted on the walls, there was even a red race car bed.

Standing right in front of Spider Man was a small boy with red curly hair. He was wearing starry pajamas and a black cape. He looked at Spider Man with wide blue eyes.

"Wow! Are you a superhero?!" he asked in awe.

"Uh, yeah." Spider Man answered, surprised. "And you are?"

"I'm Dennis!" He began running around in circles with his cape. "I'm a superhero too!"

"Uh, yeah. Sure you are." Spider Man looked around. "So, Dennis, do you know that there are ghosts and monsters in this castle?!"

Dennis smiled. "Yeah."

Spider Man was expecting the boy to be terrified, but he was cool as ice.

The door slammed open. There was a beautiful girl with blue eyes and short black hair. Beside her was a boy with brown eyes and red hair.

"Who are you?!" asked the girl.

"Mommy! He's a superhero like me!" Dennis said.

"Whoa, really?! Cool!" the young man said. "Awesome costume, bro!"

Spider Man blinked. "Uh, thanks."

"Johnny! Haven't you heard of stranger danger?!" The girl came forward and looked Spider Man in the eye. "I don't know who you are, but you shouldn't be here!"

"Mavis! That's no way to talk to a superhero!" Johnny said in Spidey's defense.

"At least someone's on my side." Spider Man said. "Listen, you guys need to get out of here! This place is crawling with monsters!"

Mavis scowled. Spider Man felt himself a little scared from her diabolical glance.

"I know. This is a hotel for monsters, it's where we belong." Mavis said, her words were made of ice.

"A...hotel?! This is a hotel?!" What kind of world was Spider Man in?!

"Mavis! What is going on in here?!" a deep, accented voice said as someone barged in.

When Spider Man saw who it was, his jaw hit the floor.

It was a man in a black suit and a long black cape with a high collar. Seeing his outfit, his combed back black hair, and pointed fangs in his mouth.

Spider Man knew immediately who this was. He looked just like in the movies.

But it couldn't really be him, could it?!

"D-D-Dracula?!" Spider Man stuttered.

This Dracula wasn't anything like the one in his world. But then again, when you're in another dimension, everything and everyone is different.

"Who is this?!" Dracula said, pointing at Spider Man.

"He's disturbing the peace, that's what he is!" The crabby woman came strutting in with the giant blue, scarred man.

"He's an intruder." the floating glasses said. "And a funky looking one at that."

"Hey! At least people can see me!" Spider Man retorted. "I'm out this nut house!"

Spider Man leaped onto the ceiling and escaped the crowd of monsters. But when he tried to leave the way he came in, he was greeted by the army of haunted armor.

"Masked intruder! You are coming with us!" the armor ordered.

"Not gonna happen, Frying Pan face!" Spider Man replied.

The armor charged forward. But Spider Man can handle these tin cans.

He jumped up in the air and started shooting his webs. The armor's spears and shields were stuck to their metal hands.

Spider Man then swooped down and started knocking out suit after suit of armor.

The sound of clanking, crashing armor exploded through the hotel lobby.

Everyone watched in amazement as they saw this colorfully costumed stranger taking down the hotel security with such ease.

"Okay, no human can take down an army like that!" Mavis said. "Is he a monster?!"

"No! He's a superhero!" Johnny exclaimed. "Awesome!"

Spider Man managed to defeat the armor army.

Dennis was so amazed, he zipped down the stairs at superhuman speeds. "WOW! That was awesome! You really are a superhero!"

But Dracula was not impressed. He came down the stairs in seconds and came face to face with Spider Man.

"Young Man, who are you?!" he growled.

Spider Man knew he just had confess. He didn't want to make more enemies than he already has.

"Okay, okay." Spider Man sighed. "I'm Spider Man, I'm from another universe. A super villain named Loki tricked me and sent me to this place. I came here to find help but I ended up making a mess of things."

Spider Man turned away. "I'll just leave now. I don't wanna make things worse..."

"Wait! Don't go!" Dennis pulled on Spider Man's leg. "Please don't leave!"

"Yeah, Spider dude!" Johnny said. "We're sorry about all that rough stuff!"

"Johnny's right." said the glasses. "I guess we got off on the wrong foot."

Spider Man felt his hand grabbed and shaken. "Name's Griffin, the Invisible Man."

"This is my mommy and daddy Mavis and Johnny. And Papa Drac." Dennis said.

"I'm Frank and this is my wife Eunice." Frank said politely. "Pleased to meet you!" He took Spider Man's hand and shook it, shaking Spider Man as well.

"The name's Murray." said the big mummy.

"Wayne, how ya doin'?" the werewolf said holding a armful of werepups.

"So...you guys are monsters, huh?" Spider Man said.

These monsters were a little like the Howling Commandos, but more Hollywood classic instead of SHIELD monster hunting team.

"Yes, that's correct." Dracula said. "And this is Hotel Transylvania, I place I built for all the monsters of the world, hiding from humankind. A place to live in peace and be themselves."

"But all that changed when I came along!" Johnny said proudly, interrupting Drac's dramatic speech. "Mavy here, who's also Drac's daughter, we fell in love and had little Dennis here." He ruffled Dennis's red curls.

"And we made it so humans can stay at the hotel too." Mavis said.

"Humans and monsters in one hotel?" Spider Man said. "Wow, that's a new one." He looked around. "So, is there anyway I can get back to my own dimension?"

Dracula frowned. "Well, the first thing you should do is clean up your mess!" He pointed to the demolished suits of armor.

Spider Man sighed. "Fair enough."

* * *

Spider Man, along with some help from the monsters, reassembled the suits of armor.

"You okay?" Spider Man asked, putting the knight's helmet back on.

"I am now." the knight replied, adjusting his helmet. "Thank you."

"That was quite a show you put on, Spider Man." Eunice complimented.

"It was nothing." Spider Man said, bashfully rubbing his head.

The werewolf pups tackled Spider Man and started licking him.

"Ahahahahahaha! Okay! Okay! Nice to meet you too!" Spider Man chortled.

"Huh. You must be something special." Wayne said. "They don't warm to anyone like that."

Spider Man eventually got the pups off of him. "Yeah," He looked around. "Well, looks like everything's spick and span."

"So, sorry about messing with you earlier." Griffin said. "Being invisible, you can't help but take advantage of it."

"It's all good." Spider Man said. "I don't blame you."

"So, where do you go from here?" asked Mavis.

"Back home where I belong. New York City needs me. But...it has been pretty awesome meeting you guys!"

Just then, a wormhole opened and out came Doctor Strange and Thor.

"Spider Man! There's you are!" said Thor. "Loki told me what he did to you, but Doctor Strange and I defeated him and came to rescue you!" He raised his hammer.

"Whoa, whoa! It's okay, big guy! I don't need rescuing! These monsters are the good kind." Spider Man assured.

He turned to his friends. "Well, I guess my ride's here. Maybe I can come back sometime?"

"Of course you can!" Johnny said before Dracula and Mavis could.

Mavis laughed. "You're welcome to visit us anytime, Spider Man."

"Yeah, this place could use a guy like you around." Griffin said, slapping the hero on the back.

Spider Man laughed and said his goodbyes to his newfound monster friends.

Dennis gave the webslinger a big hug. "Goodbye, Spider Man! See you again soon!"

Spider Man returned the hug and headed into the portal back to New York.

* * *

At May Parker's house, Peter told his aunt his adventure at Hotel Transylvania.

May was amazed to say the least. "Really?! The Invisible Man? Living suits of armor? Frankenstein and his wife? And Dracula has a daughter?"

"Yeah! That was pretty cool place." Peter said. "I wonder if I'll ever go back there again."

"Well, if there's one thing I've learned from having Spider Man as a nephew, is that anything, and I mean _anything_ is possible."

Peter couldn't agree more. Anything is possible when you're the Ultimate Spider Man.


End file.
